I have found out it is easy to go back to old habits that are easy when under pressure and stress.  When I say I have gone back to old habits, I mean snacking and eating more processed easy foods rather than continuing to eat the raw vegetables and foods that are better for me.  I found something interesting and kind of cool though.  Even though I did a bit of a backslide, I was able to maintain the gains I have made.  Previously when I did this, I began to gain the weight back and this of course worked on the psyche sending the message of “what’s the use, I have already blown it, I might as well give up”  Yes this is a self-sabbotaging behavior, yes I have fallen into that trap.  This time, even though I knew I goofed, I saw the results of my previous work and focus and it was easier to get back imto taking care of myself better. 

It seems that making changes slowly is helping my body to take better care of itself as well.  It has really begun to communicate with me.  Does that sound weird?  When I eat something that I shouldn’t, my body will let me know in a variety of ways.  Most prevalent of course is not feeling well.  By this I mean, I feel naseuous, bloated, and i get stomache cramps.  Just feeling awful is enough to remind me the next time.  :) 

I look up one day and several weeks have passed.  So not really sure where to begin with this update.  Obviously I can’t go over my daily meals and that kinda boring anyway no?  I have been trying to continue with walking and have been able  to do a few exercises.  I bought a bunch of the fresh vegies and then didn’t do so well.  Sad to say most went to waste.  Now I try real hard NOT to do that but for whatever reason, I was having some resistance coming up.  That is one of te reason I haven’t updated here either. 

One thing I have learned about myself and that is when I don’t do something, you can believe there is some sort of resistance attached.  Either that or some stuck energy of some sort.  I get locked into a pattern of NOT doing and it ends up perpetuating itself. The trick is fguring out how to get beyond that and move forward easily.  :) 

I have been doing some walking but not nearly as much as in the past,  I think that was tied up in the resistance too.  I have been on overwhelm and overload at work and lost myself to the illusion that it was all consuming.  This process is continually causing me to examine and re-examine what I am doing and thinking.  My walk numbers (though I can’t remember exacts because I didn’t write them down) have been pretty consitant to immediate reading in te mid to high 20’s. the heart rate at the 2 minute mark a couple of point below that and the 5 minute mark a couple of point lower still.  I have tried to get that first number up but for watever reason, I haven’t been able to. 

I don’t remember if I recorded the fact that I measured around my waiste to determine how much I have or haven’t lost in that very critical area.  My first measurement was at 38″  and then here recently I was down to 37 1/2″ .  That was probably mid February (?)  I may have already blogged that and if that is the case then it is all good.  If not it’s here now. 

I measured myself again on Wednesday night (03/05/08) and weighed myslef.  I weighed 140 lbs and my waiste was 36″  I am down 10-15 lbs and 2″ off the waiste!  This is HUGE!!  I have been monitoring my eating these past 2ish weeks and I am NOT dieting by any stretc of the imagination.  I haven’t been eating nearly as much processed food, no sugary foods or candy (chocolate etc…) and I am still losing.  I am really loving te baby step method.  My body is still continuing to tell me when I have eaten something it doesn’t like.  I am still starting my day with coffee and yes I do put sugar in it.  For whatever reason, my body is still good with that.  Perhaps it’s the amount…  Perhaps it is the lack of the high fructose corn syrup.  It’s all a learning and experimenting process.

This weekend I am in Arizona experiencing some awesome stuff.  None of it related to weight loss specifically.  …or is it??? :)  *winks as I smile mysteriously*

For dinner I had the chicken pieces from Carl’s Jt.  Not the healthiest but certainly not the worst.  I skip the french fries at the fast food places. 

We went walking again tonight :)  My end ofthe walk numbers were:
Immediate:25X4= 100

2min: 24X4= 96

5 min: 21X4 = 84

I m guessing that for whatever reason, Ted and I are not walking fast enough so we will have to work on that.
Ron asked me to stop and get him donuts.  Sheesh!  Guess he isn’t worried about not having the proper nutrition…

Yep it is totally my own judgement of the situation

Saturday-  Today I spent the day helping Carol move again. It is how I spent last weekend as well :)  I was drinking coffee when she came and picked me up.  She insisted on buying me something to eat- so here we are faced with fast food… again.  This time I had chicken pieces… again I guess it’s a good thing I like them :p

We spent a long time hanging and sorting clothes.  Carol ran to the old house to grab something.  While she was gone I did my exercises.  I think I am good to go with mostly no problems with the inflamation.  I did:

3 sets of the plank, holding for 20 seconds for each one

3 sets of Squats 20 each

3 sets of wall push ups 20 each- I am still place quite far from the wall. 

At around 4pm her washer over flowed allover her kitchen.  She called her husband to bring a mop.  It took us about 10 minutes to realize he wasn’t dropping everything to bring that mop so I spent the best part of the next hour using towels to sop up a lake of water. Sopping and squeezing the towels out was rough on the hands and the stooping etc…  on the back. Now I need a good masseuse :p

With the exercise, working and the towels, I am really sore and tired tonight. Oh and for dinner tonight, i had spghetti and meatballs - here at the house not eating out tonight.  I was too tired to walk, much to Ted’s chagrine.  I have no walk numbers.  and I am fading so I better call it a night (erm, morning) I will be up and at it again on Sunday….

That is until about 30 minutes later.  All of a sudden, I had this awful taste in my mouth and I began to feel nauseous.  By the time I headed home, I was feeling bloated, sick and just awful.  All from one small piece of cake.  I would say I am done with sweets!  This experimen teither went horribly wrong or horribly right. 

In the ensuing days, I have been offered cake, candy, chocolate and ice cream and have happily declined all.  When I think about eating any of that stuff my body shudders and a huge NO!!!  appears in my minds eye.  Interesting, I still have sugar in my coffee with no problem but all other incidences of sugar or sugar products are a huge no.

I have also learned that if I forget or don’t take something with me to eat, i get snack cravings.  I have not mastered the temptation of salty, cheesy, crunchy goodness.  I have upon occasion raided the vending machines when I haven’t brought some sort of food.  These days I am mostly bringing carrotts or apples or yougurt with fruit (that would be the plain yogurt) The other thing I am doing is still making salad in a bottle. It tastes fairly green but adding lemon juice or some fruit help make it more palatable. 

I have also found that my cravings are ruled by my emotions (yeah I know most people’s are) and how my day is going.  Now that i know this, what to do about it…  Apparently I am a victim of comfort food :p 

 I am trying to make better dinner decisions and when I give in to something that is really not good for me, my body tells me.  I am coming to understand that my body seems to be controlling my diet much more than my mouth and tasts buds.  I had Taco Bell the other night and felt bloated and ill most of the night.  Guess what food I am no longer eating. 

My husband bought me a Valentines treat; a bear that says I love you (very cute- what illusion is he suffering under) and a small box of chocolates.  I said thank you for the bear but offered him the candy.  He said 1 or 2 pieces aren’t going to hurt anything.  I responded “yeah, if I want to be ill”  (Has he NOT been listening to me?!)  I put the bear on my desk at home and gave the candy away at work. 

We went out for a Valentines day dinner and I had broiled icelandic cod (yummmmmy) and baked potatoe ok I had butter and sour cream :p However I didn’t finish the potatoe.  i have been eating ONLY until I am full.  I have found if I push the envelope there, that i feel yucky for hours.  As i said my body seems to be much more in control of what I eat. 

Onward Ho!!!!

Oh and I am back to walking.  Ted and I went walking on Wednesday night.  My end of the walk numbers are as follows:

Here are my end of the walk numbers:

Immediate:28X4= 112

2min: 24X4= 96

5 min: 24X4 = 96

Thursday nights end of the walk numbers were a little weird.  They are as follows:

Here are my end of the walk numbers:

Immediate:24X4= 96

2min: 25X4= 100

5 min: 21X4 = 84

All for now

Monday- I went off to work and flat forgot to take some food.  i did have my coffee though :p LOL  Having money and no food isn’t the best way to start things off.  generally Mondays are not the day in which I eat the most healthy food anyway :)  I had a bag of Doritos from the vending machine (ok so yeah, it starts)  I then had some wheat crackers and cheese.  Way too processed and not necessarily good.  Yeah, I know friends who wouldn’t be all that happy that I went the entire day basically without food.

I was sitting at my desk and the pain in my chest was really annoying and beginning to hurt quite a lot.  I would describe it as more than moderate but less than severe.  i called my Dr and made an appointment as soon as the Doc could see me.  i want to resolve whatever this is so i can get back to exercising.If I know what manner of error it is I can go about figuring out what needs to be healed in order to make it go away.

Dr Hugh was able to see me tomorrow (Tuesday) at 1:30  Much sooner than I expected so major yay.  Things at home are quiet… REAL quiet. 

Dinner on the way to Bible study was my really great tasting Taco with Sour cream and a cup of coffee.  I went to bible study and had snacks while watching Miyah :)  100 calorie pack of Harvest Cheddar Sun Chips.  I also had some teryaki chicken jerky.  I got home and decided not exercise. best wait to hear what the Dr says.

Tuesday- I had coffee of course…  Today I brought some of the plain yogurt/fruit mix that I made.  I think I am beginning to develope a taste for it.  I headed to the Dr’s at 12:30 as I wanted to make sure I had enpough time to get there.  After asking me a few questions and probing and pressing… OW!  he said i have Costochondritis.  In english that means that one of the ligaments that attach my ribs to my breastbone is inflamed. The doctor could only say that a lifting or stretching motion most likely caused it.  He has written me a script for some anti-inflamatories.  I scooted back to work and only managed to lose an hour so thats not too bad.

After work, i had Photography class.  I brought some carrots and Brocoli to eat on the way.  Both were raw and tasted good :)  I ended up parking some distance from class so a walking i did go. I got some really great feedback on the photos I took.  However, I didn’t have time to stop at the pharmacy on the way to school so I’ll have to get my pills after dinner tomorrow night.

I got home and as I was trying to shimmy out of my jacket, it was very painful :/ Ron happened to see me grimmace and asked what was wrong.  *rolls eyes*  After I told him everything he started acting like he needed to DO something.  He about freaked trying to figure out how to get me my meds tonight.  I know he is thinking of me but he just spent that last how many days not talking to me and talking about leabving.  I see this as his way of finding a reason to stay.  *rolls eyes… again*

Saturday- Today seemed like a good day to start off with…    yeah, yeah, yeah  Coffee :)  I needed a camera card so I could have a dedicated card to my homework.  I went to three different stores all to no avail.  All the XD cards it seems are now the “M” ones which are not compatible with my camera.  As time was getting short, I headed home.  I had plans to go out dancing at 6:00

I had dinner at the club Chicken breast with Vegetables and Iced tea.  There was birthday cake as well. i didnt have any and it wasnt all that difficult to say no.  I did have some sugar free Jello :)  I am thinking dancing is at least as good as walking in the exercise department :)  I had an excellent time until I got home.  Now that’s another blog.  Went to bed stressed and not too happy

 Sunday- Woke up and didn’t go anywhere, even to have coffee.  I had a cup of coffee here at the house… later.  Ted and I went and shot my homework, we got some great shots too :) 

For dinner we had Chicken Pot Pies and Mac & Cheese.  Not the greatest meal.  Neither ted nor i really wanted it but we ate it mainly to keep the peace.  Too much turmoil lately…

Went walking tonight but I do seem to be in the process of manifesting some sort of error in my body.  I have this pain in my upper chest on the right side.  While walking, I needed to cough and that made the pain way worse so mmm. Not fun.  I worked on moderating my walk so that I didn’t breath too hard because apparently that makes the pain worse as well.

Here are my end of the walk numbers:

Immediate:36X4= 144

2min: 25X4= 100

5 min: 22X4 = 88

Got home and rested for a bit, then thought I would try some wall pushups and um, no….  OW!  and Planks?  Yeah, ow on those too. ok, I will not let this keep me from my goal.  I will see how i feel tomorrow…

Thursday started as usual, you know the cup of coffee :)  I had the yogurt I prepared late morning.  It was pretty decent… A little on the sour side but all up, not bad at all.  I will definitely be having more.  Another experiment that was successful.  I am thinking perhaps some pineapple and or bananas.  We’ll see.  Was busy as usual and somehow lately more sweets are finding there way into the office.  I bought 2 chocolate bars to help someone with their kids benefit.  I gave them back to her and told her to gift them to whoever she chose.  I was quite proud of myself. 

For dinner we had steak and teriaki (sp?) vegetables.  Finally a meal at home without a lot of extra calories.  It tasted good too.  After dinner, I found sitting on my desk, my Caltrac.  I opened it to find that it needed batteries I didnt have.  *shoot*  I read the quick start guide and talked to Rick online about some of the features.  I also asked what exercise might be substituted for walking on those particularly nasty rainy days.  He suggested perhaps lunges and then when I can do them, lunges down the hall.  Of course he sent me a video link that showed the proper form.  It’s always about form with Rick.

I had intended to do some wall pushups but flat out fell asleep in my chair after listening to Armand Moran’s teleseminar.   *pouts*

Friday!  At last, it’s friday!  My coffee was extra good today.  Perhaps it is because it is friday.  I didn’t bring any food or snacks with me to work today.  I knew we were having a get together to bid farewell to a collegue who is moving forward on the next rung of making her dream of being a teacher come true.  I also knew that food was involved.  There were donuts being offered all over the office.  Sheesh!

At 9:30ish we all gathered in the conference room to a repast of lots of pastries, cookies, muffins, and donuts .  Thank goodness there was plenty of juice, some fruit and bagels with cream cheese.  I had lots of fruit and a bagel with some cream cheese.  I had Orange juice instead of the more popular Crystal Light lemonaid and Apple juice. 

I have noted something interesting in the last few days.  It has gotten easier and easier to pass up donuts.  I hardly notice them if i am passing by unless someone actually mentions them.  Now THAT is cool!  Temptation isn’t a fun thing.  I moved a lot of paperwork off my desk today, so i felt really accomplished at the end of the day.

For dinner we went out again…  Ron was planning on Taco Bell but changed his mind to Cafe Bixby. Friday means clam chowder and him being from Mass, well that’s all it took I had Liver and onions.  I haven’t had that in forever and it was extra good!  I’m not sure what they did when cooking it but the meat as so tender.  Instead of potatoes and gravy, I ordered Coleslaw. I figured less carbs and calories. 

After I got home, I did some email and relaxing.  I got up and danced for about 30 minutes just because the music was good. Since it is actually Saturday morning when I am typing this, Apparently I relaxed a little too much.  As I was sitting here last night, I got a couple of cramps in my calf muscles.  Not sure if that was just last night or if it is something of concern- I will keep an eye on it.  All for now

Driving home sucked!  Was horibbly rainy and wet.  I do not like to drive in the rain.  I have made myself promise to let the weather do as it wishes this year, so yeah I have stuck myself with driving in inclement weather. :/  We went out for dinner. (yes again) I had the oriental chicken salad and it was sooooo good.  I ate most of it but saved some of chicken for a salad at a later time.  :) 

We went to the store on the way home and I got some plain yogurt and frozen fruit.  Blending the two together was quite the adventure :p  To say I made a mess was putting it mildly.  My son came in and started laughing at me… how nice.   He even took a video on his phone LOL…  What a pain LOL.  I am going to take some to work tomorrow.  Should be really yummy

Did wall Pushups 3 sets of 30 eah standing a good way back from the wall.  Not much more to reportother than i really didn’t feel like doing the pushups- Did em anyway

I had my beet soup concotion from a few days ago.  I have a 20 oz bottle that I put it in and I literally drank my dinner.  Yummmm.  I had most of it before class. The rest I had after, on the way home.  I intended to have some salad befor bed but here I am and I am flat too tired to bother.  I know I need to do push ups but am gonna skip em tonight- we’ll get there tomorrow. 

Ron fixed fish and chips for dinner here at the house, so thats what I missed out on :)  Anyway- I am off to slumberland

Had a snack of turket teriyaki jerkey and some harvest cheddar sun chips after lecture while we were watching Miyah.  Tonight is an exercise night…

Squats: 3 sets of 20 each
The Plank: 3 sets of 15 secs each (arms are still shaking on every second that passes
Wall Pushups: 3 sets of 30 each standing as far from the wall as is comfortable

 I think next week I am going to go to counter push ups… we’ll see.  I didn’t go walking today because of my busy night.

I weighed myself tonight and I am at 148.  Now as I have said before, I am not sure where I started darn it!  I usually was 150-155 riding toward the high side.  I am definitely making progress though.  Some gains have deffinitely been made which is awesome! 

Rick, you are my hero